Adieu to a Lady Who is All These: Stranger, Acquaintance, Friend...and a Kindred Soul

I stay in a boarding house, there are 13 rooms (units) in the establishment. There was a couple staying, a female couple. Natasha is straight, her partner Megan is a lesbian (it is the politically correct term right?).

Truth is, there is nobody in the whole boarding house whom I could consider as a very good, very close friend, but Natasha (and another lady)could come nearest to it. They and I stayed under one roof for approximately 7 or 8 months. Their relationship as a romantic couple was "rocky", as manifested by their vicious arguments. (They did this behind closed doors but the walls are paper thin, the entire corridor could hear them.) Still, having observed them, I thought that the two of them really loved each other.

Let me say this though, lest you think I see either (or both) everyday, I did not. My work calls for the longest hours, and there were times when I would not see them at all, say for one whole week.

About a month ago, Natasha left. She simply packed and left, leaving Megan behind. (From what I have overheard, Natasha went to live with a foreigner, my guess is she would be going with him abroad). I would not say what I think of her leaving, I am not going to judge her, I have my own sins. I'm not going to judge Megan either, again...I have my own sins.

I was actually more sad than shocked. (I told you I am self-contained, very few things on earth could really give me a major shock.) Sad for Megan, because I can just imagine how hurt she was, even if she is (still) a non-friend (read: not necessarily an enemy)...my heart went out to her. Sad that I would not see Natasha again. Sad that we were not even able to say goodbye to each other.

Thus, I am writing this as a form of saying "Adieu" to a lady who has been so many things (personas) to me.

She is a stranger, after all...it can be argued that people sharing the same roof with non-family are all strangers to each other. Even if they claim to be friends. I went back to my mental files to see if there was ever a single time where Natasha and I (with or without other people) spent more than 2 hours together...in anything. Nada, not in talks, not in that one-time-never-repeated drinking session, nada.


She is an acquaintance, more often than not...we simply passed by each other at the boarding house's premises...nodding hi with (or without) a smile. Well, that's what acquaintances do right? She knows my name, I know her name...thus...acquaintanceship. She knows what I do for a living, I know what she does for a living...thus, acquaintances.


Friend? Now we go deeper, I do not consider just about anybody to be a friend...I have certain criterions. One of which is: he/she must be able to hold something in confidence...something personal I disclosed...and he/she must pass my “test”...that is...keeping mum on it. Natasha did so, or at least I never had any suspicions that she betrayed my confidence. One time, at the restroom area of my boarding house, we managed to have a little chat in privacy. I opened up something (not very personal, but something I would not want the whole world to know)...I wanted to seek the honest opinion of a female, unlike Megan...I needed a straight female's perspective. She gave it, I asked her to keep it in confidence, and I think she did. In that respect, she is a friend.


Kindred soul? In this, it's kind of hard to elaborate, but I'll try my best. One time, we had a “mini-drinking” session, just “mini” since it was just one bottle (San Mig Light) for each of us, oh...Megan was with us. It was a threesome “bonding” moment. However, before Megan arrived, (she went out to get the beer), there was around 45 minutes where Natasha and I were in complete privacy. There, we had our most intimate talk, “intimate” in the sense that she gave me a “super-cap” of her lifestory. It was not exactly unique (her life's circumstances and past), but interesting nonetheless. (I did not give mine, she did not ask...that's the way I am). I was in a way moved by the fact that we were...we are (still) fighting the same “demons.” (What demons...I cannot say in here...not even if a gun is pointed right at me, sorry). We differ in our past(s) and our reactions to life's adversities...but we are facing the same “demons”. I did not tell her that on that particular night, but as I looked at her once when she was looking afar...I thought to myself, “this is somebody whose soul came from where my soul came...we are KINDRED”. I felt sad that time, I don't know why...but maybe it's knowing that another person is suffering through the difficulties that I am faced with...and I know how hard life is with these. Facing those “demons” is the cross our Lord was referring to when he said “carry your cross”...and He was talking to both Natasha and me. We are indeed “kindred”, if only in that singular respect...but for me, it's a significant one.

She did not even leave me any number before she disappeared, only God could make it possible for me to "reconnect" with her anytime in the future. I was not even able to give her my mobile number or this blogsite address. Only God could make it possible for her to stumble upon this site (accidentally). Still, I have my faith...if the Lord could part the Red Sea, and if Jesus could come back from the dead...then they (he, if you believe in the Holy Trinity concept)could create a way where Natasha and I will meet once more.

Natasha, you are out there somewhere. I never thought I'll say this, but in some ways, I will miss you. I'll include you in my prayers. Above all else, I wish you happiness...after all...we are kindred.

Be well Natasha, vaya con Dios. I will keep those memories.

San Mig and Secrets,


Owenf