A Ghost From the Past (tentative title)

I'm going to do something for the very first time. (I love doing spur-of-the moment things, that's me.) For the first time since I started this blog, I will not be writing an essay or an opinion piece. I'll be putting one of my original short stories here (technically an episode, according to my high school literature teacher). It was written many months ago but not for the purpose of putting it here on my blog. (I'll be including it in my growing anthology of short stories. If ever you see this story somewhere else, please advise me at once so that I can hunt down the son (or daughter) of a b*^$ch and make him/her see the errors of his ways. I may give you a reward too. Or maybe not. (ah-hurm.)

Well, it's a short one. This piece has been written- more than to simply entertain- but to evoke a reader's memories (if applicable) or make him be reminded of some crucial questions regarding those people we have "buried in the past". Take note, I wrote "tentative" in the title because when the anthology gets published (hopefully within this century), I'll probably be changing it to a new one. Enough of this talk. If you don't like it but it made you ask some philosophical questions to yourself, that is fine by me. Here goes...

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A GHOST FROM THE PAST

He never imagined he would see her again. But here she was - in the flesh. The woman he vowed he would cherish and love for the rest of his life. Until the unimaginable happened. The biggest blunder he ever did in his whole life. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that he would see her again - in this party of all places.

The woman had a reputation for being composed and collected at all times. She was actually called Miss Ice Bitch (by detractors) or Miss Stone Queen (by friends) behind her back. This time however, she was speechless. Here was the man she thought she would adore and love for all eternity. One of the biggest mistakes she had ever done. If not actually the gravest miscalculation. Prior to this party, if Nostradamus himself rose from the grave and told her that she would be seeing him in this affair, she would have laughed at his face. Indeed, the impossible has happened.

They stared at each other, neither capable of speech. After a long time, it was the woman who managed to speak first. "Long time. A very long time, Jakob."

"Yes. Ages in fact.", the man's voice seemed to come from a mile away. He forced himself to smile, but no matter how hard he tried, it would not come.

While staring at each other, both of them zoned out. The two of them were not looking at the other, but rather- staring through the other person. Both were engulfed in his/her own thoughts.

Mariel's thoughts were spinning. I never imagined this would come about. Mariel kept on ruminating. I live in America, he lives in Israel, and here we are. Meeting by chance in Russia. Of all places. Incredible. Unbelievable. Jesus on a stick! What is there to say? What is left to say after everything that happened between us?

I imagined that this could happen. In isolated moments of my downtime, I've imagined that this would happen. But I never seriously thought it will actually come to pass. What does this mean? What is this supposed to mean? Why now? Jakob asked himself.

They kept on staring at each other. No animosity however. For the man, a gaze of shock and disbelief. For the woman, just a stare of surprise but more than that- a gaze of hidden calculation. Her mental gears were spinning like crazy. She was thinking how she could extricate herself from this situation without losing face. She did not care if the man in front of her got embarrassed. For all intents and purposes, he was now a stranger. But still, an inner voice was whispering to her 'Don't hurt him. Why should you hurt him? You used to love this guy right?"

The man's thoughts kept on running like a meteor shower on a very dark night sky. 'God, she still looks positively radiant. The years have been so kind to her. This is exactly how she looked when we parted ways eleven years ago.'

The woman focused on Jakob's face. The years have not been kind to him. He looked a decade older than his real age. And of course, she knew exactly how old he was.

Neither spoke. As if they were both gifted with the power of telepathy.

I was partly to blame too for what happened. Jakob spoke to her without the words. But you never gave me the chance to explain myself. The most obvious scenario was what you believed in. It never occurred to you to check out the more obscure possibilities. If you had just allowed me to speak on that fateful evening, we could have stayed together. We should have stayed together. Objectively, yours was the bigger sin. Not only did you refuse to hear me out, you actually believed Cariza, the one person in the whole wide world you vowed you would never listen to. What made you do it? What possessed you to lose faith in me just like that? Have all these occurred to you anytime since we broke up Mariel? Have you come to your senses after all this time? What has happened to you all these years?

At the same time, her thoughts were cascading like a waterfall. You should never have done it. Regardless of the explanation, whatever the hell it was, when you succumbed to the temptation to begin with- you ended the most special that we shared. And what we had was something special. Something truly special. Something sacred. Which you shattered in the most shocking way. Why did you do it? Every once in a blue moon, I still ask that question. I did not think you could answer that question if I forced it from you on that fateful night. Will you be able to answer this if I asked you point-blank right now? I don't honestly think you can.

Almost at the same instant, the realization dawned on both of them. That they were acting like statues. Or more to the point, they were acting as though the other person was an alien. Jakob cleared his throat. But it was Mariel who spoke first.

"Well, I think I don't need to say anything." If I start talking, and if I force myself to hear all the unsaid things from you, we'll be here all night. Actually, we'll be here forever. "Do you?"

"No, I believe that the two of us meeting here...is enough." Mariel nodded at that. And it was not a mechanical nod. She understood the cruciality of the statement.

Every fiber of Jakob's soul was pushing him to leave but he forced himself to be a gentleman. He was still one, after all. He let himself stand still so that Mariel could leave first. Mariel looked at his eyes and tried to read what he was thinking. She managed to accomplish what Jakob found impossible to do. She smiled. Not a very heartfelt smile, but the kind offered to a best friend's brat kid who was getting on one's nerves. Sincere in the sense that it was not a mere facade, but still lacking in genuine warmth. Still, it was better than nothing. Their eye contact remained for a full ten seconds. It was the man who broke it first. He looked at a spot just behind Mariel's head and uttered, "Well, I'll see you around Mariel." He felt that if he made eye contact any further, he would collapse like a ton of bricks. Or more accurately, like a ton of gold bars.

I sure hope not. But all she managed to say was, "Sure." As the door was somewhere behind Jakob, she just passed him without looking him in the eye. In the entire length of time that Mariel crossed the room, Jakob held his breath. He did not really know the reason for doing so, he just felt that it was the proper thing to do. He felt as if his lungs would burst. When he finally exhaled, Mariel was almost out of the room.

At the door, Mariel stopped but did not look back at her former partner. You did not value the love that I gave you. If you only cherished it, we would have ended up marrying each other. Such a waste. Bye Jakob, for whatever it is worth, I hope you find somebody that would make you forget all about us. For the first time in probably a decade, tears threatened to spill. She clamped down on it with all her might and willpower, grabbed the doorknob and exited. I don't want to see you again. Please stay out of my life.

When Mariel paused at the door, Jakob looked at the person he had valued above everybody else. More than his parents or any of his family members. In another life that was.

You should not have done it Mariel. It was a colossal moment of weakness. I'll be praying for your happiness still. Whether you will get married or not. But please don't let me see you again. I don't think I can bear another chance meeting like this. Please go. Please be gone forever. Be gone from my life. He watched her go out the door. Closed his eyes, hoping that in opening his eyes, he would find himself in bed and discover that this was all a bad, stupid dream. Something he would just laugh about. But when he returned to the real world, he knew it had really come to pass. He slowly walked to the nearest couch, and slumped down. He realized that he was emotionally depleted. Imagine that. A ghost from the past.

Mariel almost did not make it to the car. She was shaking all over. She slipped out of the house without even speaking to the host. She decided to just call him later and invent a personal emergency. Once inside her Audi, she slumped her head against the steering wheel. Oh my God. I shouldn't have attended this party. What possessed me to come here? My God Jakob...you're a ghost from my past. Stay there. In the past. Stay buried.